“I have low self esteem.”  I have heard those words used as an excuse many times.  Now it is time to get back that self esteem and feel great about you.

Trust me, I used to have low self-esteem about myself too.  I always thought people would not talk to me or be my friend due to being in a wheelchair.  I used to exclude myself from activities and high school football games and dances since I felt so scared of people seeing me and of being social.  My low self-esteem ruined my first two to three years of high school and made it hard for me to live up to my full potential.  It was not until I discovered where my low self-esteem came from, made goals for myself to change it, and did everything I could to maintain feeling good about myself that I finally increase my self-esteem.  And all  of you can do the same as I did.

But where does all this low self-esteem originate from? It could be that you have not felt fully accepted yet and do not believe anything you do is really cared about.  It could also be due to someone making fun of you so much that you believed it to be true.  It could also be something simple; you don’t know how to have normal self-esteem.  I have three simple steps to help those that don’t think highly of themselves.  This could range from beauty to ability to creativity, but all of these issues can be resolved.

Step One: Discover the Problem

What is causing you to have low self-esteem?  It could be any of the reasons that I listed above or something else you can think of.  Write the cause down in either a diary, journal, or just a piece of paper.  Now, what part(s) of your physical, psychological, or mental self do you have low self esteem about?  It could be something as simple as your hair or something more unique such as the sound of your laugh.  Write these down on the piece of paper too.

Step Two: Map Out a Solution

Here comes the more creative part where you have control over what happens next.  For each part of yourself that you wrote down think of one or more situations where your low self esteem came out and write them down next to each part. Next, think of 10 people that have contradicted your belief (for instance: I think people always just look at my wheelchair and not me, but they say they don’t even see the wheelchair anymore).  Write those people down next to each part. These are the people that can help you gain your self-esteem back. Finally, think of a goal to set for the next day, the next week, the next 2 weeks, and the next month for each part to try to reduce that low self-esteem.

For Example:

Next Day: Ask one of the 10 people what they think about me being in a wheelchair

Next Week: Say “Despite my disability, my abilities have no bounds.” whenever I see my disability get in the way

Next 2 Weeks: Don’t let my disability stop me from doing anything

Next Month: If you have completed the goals and feel better about yourself, then you are successful!
If not, start with a small goal, then work yourself up to a larger goal until you feel better about yourself. 

Low self-esteem is not in the control of anyone else, including your friends or family, it is in your complete control.  So as soon as you decide to fight it you can beat it.  Truly, self-esteem is all in your head, so you can shape it to fit your needs.  But don’t fall to high self-esteem and start bragging about yourself, that is the last thing that should happen.  Instead, just worry about feeling good about yourself and not everyone feeling good about you, because we cannot control other people’s minds.  There will always be someone that cares about you, don’t worry about that. :)

Step Three: Maintain Control

If you feel that you are slipping back into your old low self-esteem ways, then the following video might help you out:

Or take a look back at your diary, journal, or piece of paper where you wrote everything down and try to set new goals.  I have no control over whether this process is perfect or works for you, only YOU have that control and only YOU can take a chance, make a change, and breakaway from your low self-esteem.

©2011 Anthony’s Abilities. Please contact me and ask for permission before using this writing.

Do you have low self-esteem? Comment below to answer.